Thursday, January 28, 2010

***Al-Fatihah - Rest in Peace Wan ( 02.06.1930 - 22.01.2010)***

My paternal grandma passed away last Friday (22.01.2010).It was indeed sad as I never got to say goodbye. Though her passing was very much predicted, we never thought it would be this soon.  My grandpa passed on last April and since grandma has somehow lost her will to live.  She did admit to being so lonely and misses grandpa dearly.  I always find it  difficult to express my feelings when it comes to dealing with pains and sorrows of these kind. I did try to be a little stronger this time compared to the passing of my grandpa. I felt more sorrow wondering what is going through my dad's mind.  It somehow hurt me more to see and know that my dad is also hurting while trying to be very strong like the eldest son that he is. 

My grandma has always been a loving grandma especially to her grandchildren and their children. Grandma has always wanted to be closer to Daanya but at this toddler age, Daanya's attention span spans all over the place, so to speak. My grandma is the independent old timer who drives to where she wants to go. A stick-shift too at that. I have friends of mine giving the salute awestruck at my grandma's ability to drive her Honda Civic here and there.  She was the kind of grandma that would instead come to visit you just to see her great-grandchild instead of you visiting her.  She was the kind that made sure you ate and drink plenty when you visit her even though you stuffed your face solid before coming to see her.

I still remember way back then when we siblings used to anticipate going back to JB for Eid, before things started to change.  She and grandpa lived in the spacious corner lot with a gigantic space of a garden, large enough for her to grow 6-8 rambutan trees. My my. Every Eid, our staple Eid menu would be cooked right on that very garden, with coal, firewood and real fire the works!Eid was so much fun back then. I also remember how that house was situated right in front of a railway track and we (cousins and siblings) would run all the way to the kitchen every time a train would pass by.  Oh so heavenly, the sound of those trains as loud and annoying as they were.

Then when they moved to a new place, things were a bit different.  I was growing into a teenager then and more often the drive back was more of a drag and once there I always counted to days to head back to KL.  Adolescence! Then when we lost our eldest uncle and aunty (Pak long and Mak long), things somehow were completely different.  Felt like things were more torn apart and not just at the seams.Then when dad decided to move both grans to KL and 5 mins away from mom and dad's...things are now unrecognizable. We don't gather as often anymore. Dad and his siblings took turns taking care of both of them so that meant that we see each other less.

I am still proud that my little Daanya had her fair share with her great grandparents. It is pretty obvious that she will not remember their existence in years to come but I hope (in the events that she reads this blog)she knows that she has somehow touched their lives and had loved playing with her when she was little.  I hope that she knows that they had always came to see her whenever they missed her and her antics.

It is now to focus on the present and move on...and hoping to rely on  the fond memories of the past with much hope that these will build you and make you stronger!!!Al-Fatihah!!