Thursday, April 30, 2009

***Forever missed***

My paternal Grandpa passed on last 23 April 2009. He went just 1 month shy of his 80th birthday. This has been an exceptionally hard piece to write on. It all happened too fast. One minute Hazmy and I were having dinner, a phone call intercepted our conversation, it was my sister telling me that Gran has fallen, unconcious but still breathing. I panicked and packed what was left of our food. Rushed to Gran's only to find him lying there lifeless. We only had to wait the doctor's confirmation. It was tough to see him healthy at one point and with just a blink of an eye, he was gone. I was wailing and regretted not being able to see him probably 10-15 minutes earlier before he went. Just to ask for forgiveness or maybe to recite the "Syahadah"for him..something!

Back before when Daanya was younger (5-6months), both my grandparents would come by to play with her...Gran especially enjoys teaching the "tepuk amai amai" and Daanya would equally reciprocate by clapping her hands together...later on when she learnt to speak she would sing together with him. Progressing on, when my Granny's knees hurt too much that she can't drive anymore, my parents would take Daanya to visit them (they live 5 minutes away). Later on, with both Grans were constantly attacked with fever or flu, my parents try not to bring Daanya over just so that she won't contract them...A week earlier before the passing, it was after dinner as I recalled, Daanya was in the car and she had recited her "tepuk amai amai". Mind you this was after a loooonnnggg time since Gran recited to her...Hazmy and I was at awe that she actually remembered...but Allah knows best...Exactly one week since that, Gran passed on.

There are so many fond memories of Gran but it is still too difficult to write about it here...All I can say is he was a man that take all of God's tests in his stride and marched through his life making the best of what he has. He had children that he was so proud of though maybe he does not say it in so many words. He definitely loved his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He saw the burial of his eldest daughter when she lost her battle with cancer almost 10 years ago. He was a man so simple that never demands for the impossible.

At the day of his burial, Daanya asked what happened to Tok Yang? I had to let her know that Tok Yang went to heaven. Occassionally, she would just say Tok Yang go heaven. I take it that she remembers him still presently. I wonder if she'll remember him years from now. That is why hard as it is, I felt that this had to be written in Gran's rememberance for her if she reads this blog in the future.

Gran, I write this with tears in my eyes cause I was heartbroken when you went away. I am still in so much pain. I felt that I did not get enough of you and your presence during the time that you were still around. It wasn't enough. I needed more. I missed the time when you used to tell us stories of how you worked during oppression, how you put your children through school till they become what they are today, how you used to tell us how you walked to work cause you never knew how to drive, how you used to tell me my dad washed his own clothes and did household chores cause Granny was so strict....I MISS ALL THAT!!! TAK PUAS!!!


mrika said...

Al-Fatihah to your grandpa. He's at a better place now ...

Thanks for including me in your blogroll and an even bigger thanks for the kinds words to call my Patterned blog. ;-)
Yours (blog) is equally fun to read. :-)

BabyBooned said...

alfatihah for your grandpa. 80 is a long, long life.

Fini said...

mrika, thank you for your kind words. My Gran means a whole lot to me and yes, I do pray that he will be placed with the blessed.

I enjoy your blog tremendously and am amazed at how talented you are. Save me a spot.Might book you for our next party for Daanya hehehe.

BB, Thanks alot old friend for your kind wish. Yes, indeed 80 is a long life and he was so healthy.The whole thing was fast alhamdulillah with no obstructions and cubaan. Masya Allah! How I pray for the same for me and loved ones. Morbid tak?

Eikha said...

Kenny, I'm sorry for what happened. I hope your doing better by now, things happen and we have to face it no matter what.

You take care, I love you a lot Kenny. (:

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