Tuesday, November 08, 2011

***Of greener pastures and moving forward***

I have been yearning to pen down my thoughts for what could have been a gazillion years if it was possible. Not a day gone by had I not thought about this space of mine, a place that could let it all out. I missed this little space of mine tremendously to the point that I feel really guilty for abandoning it too long. I hope that this streak won't be permanent...*crossing finger*

Anyhoo, let me begin with saying that life works in mysterious ways...sometimes you have so much going for you and you swear you planned every bit of your life to the core and it boils down to only executing them and when that point comes suddenly you find yourself taking a detour!...and that was exactly what happened to me!

So with that note I am proud to declare that I am now a STAY-AT-HOME mom! Turn of events transpired and we thought about it looooong and hard (of course by "we" I meant hubs and I). Of course we asked for guidance relentlessly! And Alhamdulillah and Insya Allah this option was for the better.

The truth of it all was I wasn't happy.Day in and day out totally unhappy! Yeah, you would probably say who isn't?especially when talking about work and your career...but with me work just made me want to crawl out of my skin. I hated every sense of the word! Of course I had made the best of it before and in fact had performed really well...but there s no doubt something inside of me was screaming that this is NOT FOR ME! The years before I had no choice...our finances didn't allow it and on top it all the new position prior to making this decision did have better prospects financially and in terms of progressing in my career...so imagine my predicament! But a decision had to be made and of course my priority remains that my baby daughters would always come first!so bearing that in mind, once staying home they deserve my upmost attention.

After it was official, to our surprise a number of turn of events happened that somehow assured me that this is right...we are doing fine so far...Alhamdulillah! No setbacks instead we were presented with good opportunities and prospects that Insya Allah if it is meant to be and God willing we look forward to it! I can sense that my princesses love the fact that we are now more close knit as a family. Princess D loves it that I am there for her all the time sending and fetching her to and from pre-school while Princess M has my attention 24/7 which I didn't get to give right after confinement because of the new job and long hours.

Shortly to say I have nothing but love right now...I love watching my girls grow up and develop right in front of my eyes, love that I have them with me as they are my comfort zone! Enough said ilove taking care of may family and have more important things to concentrate on. I have learned that life isn't always about what is material and the dollar sign though I must admit that they are important but nothing beats the love I am getting and the love I get to give by just diverting my focus on what matters most!I have no regrets. No doubt there are challenges and I will face obstacles but this is so fulfilling and satisfying...something I never had felt working for the man all those years!and I am still on the search for what I am passionate for, skills and talents basically things that I can be good at...but I am taking my time as I am doing what I love and passionate about so no complaints as yet...I am happy, my marriage is good, girls are fine...what more can I ask for...


Anonymous said...

salam fini,

ini rahimah ni,ingat tak lagi?ex eds.apa kabar?nak tanya camana rasanya jadi stay at home mum,kita pon ni tengah bekira2 nak berhenti keje,tp tgh pk pro n cons dia.fini dok mana skang ni?