Monday, January 15, 2007

***2006..A year of jubilation or was it really?***

"There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. But omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves -- or lose the ventures before us." -- William Shakespeare, "Julius Ceaser"

2006….As I reflect the year that was 2006, I think of all that I managed to achieve and all the letdown I stumble upon. It was rather a slow year…a year of massive adjustment and acclimatizing to everything new. The wedding which as I last recall the happiest I have ever been is now just a small piece of memory that I constantly recollect upon. Boy, was I a bag of emotions back then. Then there was the whole postgrad thing….knowing that I passed all papers with flying colours allowed me to let out a breath of relieve knowing that I am now halfway there….but then again the second part of my postgrad studies scares me half to death…even now, I am still in the mid of it and hopefully things will fall exactly as planned…though I doubt that it would. But knowing me as usual I’ll play it by ear and always be pressured by datelines and its demands…hopefully I will finish and complete all by mid this year and stipulate that salary hike from my superior by hook or by crook…..hehehhehe….as you guessed it, I AM doing it for the MONEY!!!!

Another major turnover of 2006 was to learn that we were pregnant. Of course we were ecstatic…I was totally elated by the whole idea!!! After months and months of trying, wanting heir to the throne (hahhahaha), wanting joy to our mundane and ordinary lives, our prayers have been granted by Almighty. Woo!!!….the whole concept of “pregnant” means adjusting…they should add that to the dictionary. The later half of 2006 was a tiresome and worrisome experience for me. Getting accustomed to the growing and evolving life inside of me was one experience that I do frown upon on occasions. I guess it comes with the territory of being a mummy. In July when I took those pregnancy tests (yes, I peed on those sticks like 3 times, just to be sure) and we were confirmed 5 weeks pregnant, I was still 50-50 as to whether this is the right path. I wasn’t sure of where we really were at that point in time, and whether our relationship or yet marriage was fundamentally strong enough to bear one more to our many many responsibilities. Then I saw how happy Hazmy was in his support for me during those pee-on-a-stick experiments when the results reads “+” and when he took me to our GP the next day for a better consult and confirmation and immediately I consoled myself and a whisper said that “It is going to be OK”.

Now with more or less 10 weeks to go before the entrance of our little princess, Daanya Ayeesha, I am more confident that things will in fact be much better. Her daddy is already grooming her into daddy’s little girl, playing with her or rather playing with my tummy every night and whispering to her. Ahhhhh what a sight!!! I just love that…I pray that all my children will always have that close of a contact with their daddy and that their daddy will always be interactive and significant to them and this includes hugging and kissing. As I was growing up, I kind of lost that bond with my dad…but I am not embarrassed….My dad and I are not totally lost; we share this intellectual bond where we talk and discuss politics, the economy and world matters also general knowledge stuff…. It is nice to know that he appreciates my opinions on these matters though sometimes I do wish that we were connecting more emotionally. But not with my kids….their daddy is going to be more emotive in bringing them up….and me…I resolute to be their best friend, their number 1 beck-and-call….for better and for worse.

After a one year break from work, August 2006 demanded for me to go back to work. It was tough and dreadful just waking up in the mornings with the constant vomiting and drowsiness. But hey! Daanya is going to get her essentials no matter what!!! Only the best!!! Though I sure can do with an increase in pay. My ever so-loving hubby had seen to that…he managed to get something for me to do part time…and I love it…hehhehe….all the extra income…Daanya that baby cot and stroller is going to be yours….(Mummy just have to butter up to your daddy, hehhehe).

Yes, money is a bit of a fret to me during the latter half of the year 2006. Hazmy had assured me that things are ok and in control. But I just cannot help but worry. We do have a baby on the way and that alone is a humongous responsibility financially or not….and I cannot deal with “taking it a day at a time”. I want to be affirmative that there will be funds for her shots, her clothes, her essentials, her education even for her rainy days…I want to provide the best just like how my parents had provided for me. I had the best of everything. I grew up having the utmost of everything; the best clothes, the best food and milk, the best medicines, the best schools, the best toys….so it is only fair that my children are not deprived of those. Now I know why my dad gave up his comforts just so that we can have the very greatest. Both of them made sure we got all those things that they did not get when they were young…and now it is officially true the saying “Life is a cycle”.

My 27th birthday (31st December) was a very meaningful one. The very first birthday spent as a wife. Hazmy was very very sweet…His pressie was soooo out of this world!!! Now, we are O2 family huh daddy??? Hahhaha….I also loved it that I get to spend time with my family just like old times…and it is a wonderful feeling not to be deprived of that especially when just being married and pregnant. I do however miss my sister and mum so much so especially during the weekdays that I do not get to see them. So, during the weekends it is definitely a must to spend time with them. It is hard enough adjusting without them and watching life go by without them by my side is sometimes painful though I try not to think about it so much and try so hard to push it to the back of my mind.

So there you have it! My triumph and tribulation of 2006. A whole year dedicated to like I said “adjusting”. There were definitely regrets which I wouldn’t stress but continue to work hard and making it better. However looking back, 2006 has made me a stronger, wiser and more responsible person….all for grooming me to become a dependable decision maker, a loving darling wife, a more tolerant, empathy human being as well as a trustworthy and reliable mother-to-be. What is in store for 2007 you ask??? I predict that in no doubt, it will also be a testing year with a lot of bumpy roads and a massive series of changes and mistakes. Routines will be made and changed in a heartbeat. Out with the old priorities and in comes the new taking reign. And probably many more stresses and discomfort that fit into the whole scenario. You get the picture. However, I do promise to learn and breathe it all in if it makes me a better person and individual. I promise to be a commendable, devoted and adoring wife first then a loving responsible (notice how this word keep popping up???) mother and lastly a respectful, grateful and loyal daughter and daughter-in-law (of course!). Most of all, I resolve to be happy. Now my darling hubby, all you have to do is prepare a Garden of Eden that grows money on trees for me and princess Daanya….hahhahahha Hey! To gain the best you have to give the best….that is why I married the BEST husband who is able to give me the best of everything….money included!!! Hahahhahahaha….let the chips fall where the may!!!Bring it on 2007!!!